There are many emotions that influence a parent when making decisions about raising their child. While most may originate from a good place, not all are necessarily nurturing. Take two very different approaches: decisions made based on fear versus those based on love. While the former focuses on your want for your child to fit in, have the best and excel in their peer group, it also creates anxiety for him or her when obstacles crop up. Not being able to meet such high standards and expectations could make you and your offspring feel inadequate.
However, letting go of these so-called standards and allowing your child some room to act out, be themselves and feel accepted and secure in their individuality can do wonders for your child’s wellbeing and your relationship with them.
This is because being extremely controlling is likely to push your child further away and can cause him or her to rebel – making the situation worse. But when you let go of your own insecurities and fears of being a poor parent, you will be able to see your child’s needs and personality more clearly. Once you accept yourself and your flaws, it’s easier to not project your anxiety about those flaws onto your offspring.
Here are some tips to improve your anxiety towards parenting:
- Don’t worry frequently about the success of your child. Trust that you are bringing up good children who want to lead good lives.
- Don’t be afraid of setbacks. Failure is part of the learning process and can teach young kids important lessons about life.
- Focus on more than just grades and mark sheets, and raise your child in an environment where he or she is not afraid to come to you for help or guidance.
- Try to reason with your child in a kind and respectful way instead of giving him or her orders. If your child is misbehaving, instead of abrupt punishment, it should be carefully explained to them why what they are doing is wrong.
- Do not force your children into activities they do not enjoy and encourage them in activities they do take pleasure in and benefit from.
- Remember, that the most important way to nurture your child is to be aware of how we are projecting ourselves and treating them.
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